nothing is real – strange musings

I used to think that there should be a balance in everything; that logic and emotion are both important, just like conservatism and liberalism, though perhaps the tips of the scale should change in different circumstances and backgrounds. But now I am thinking about how maybe there isn’t really oppositions as I used to think there was, because everything is constructed.

On one of our nightly walks, my friend told me that we live all our lives inside our minds. I stopped for a moment, considering the absurdity of this statement, but then realized its truth.

In a sense, we do live out our entire lives inside our minds. Everything we see or touch or feel is always tainted (for lack of a better word) by our emotional state. The way we describe a lamp post can never really be objective, no matter how hard we try.

When my friends and I were walking to breakfast today when the topic got brought up again. One friend mentioned that Elon Musk believes that we’re all living in a simulation, because, as she explained, at the rate technology is developing, it is impossible to make sure that we’re haven’t already passed that point in technology. I told her I disagreed. She argued that Elon Musk was one of the smartest dudes in the world. I told her that I did believe that nothing was real, but not in that way.

Ever since I was a kid, there was some voice at the back of my mind nagging me about how “fake” life is. I wrote in a post once that when I was around six, I believed that everyone else around me was simply a characters in like a painting. The fact (or thought) didn’t scare me. Rather, it saddened me. In my mind, I hated that I was the only “real” person in the world (excuse how extremely narcissistic this sounds, believe me, I hated writing this). I don’t know exactly what lead me to this conclusion, because looking back, it scares me that little six-year-old me believed such a lonely thought.

I’m not exactly sure what I believe in right now (definitely not that life is a simulation, that seems to cruel, too insensitive), but I’m leaning towards believing that our consciousness is the only thing keeping us real, keeping us anchored, which is basically what Descartes said but less elegantly.

“I think, therefore I am.”

– Descartes, some time ago

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